Emotional cheating: Just as bad, or worse, than one-nighter

Courtesy of farner.in

Relationships. Sometimes the best thing in the world, sometimes the absolute worst. But in order to have society, we have to learn to foster relationships on all levels. If everybody stuck to themselves, we’d all be bored out of our minds, unhappy and maybe even a little crazy. And if you think about it longer, if there were no relationships, there’d be no procreation, so we’d all be screwed anyway.

The thing about relationships is that they take work, lots and lots of work. The best ones don’t feel like work at all, but that’s because the people involved have found the formula that makes their association tick. The worst ones are hell on earth. And this goes for all types of relationships.

Anyhow before I get totally sidetracked — because heaven knows I could do so quite easily — let me get to the one I really intend to talk about today. The relationship between man and woman (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife; or if you are so inclined boyfriend/boyfriend, wife/wife …) and one horrendous pitfall some experience — emotional infidelity.

Now, we all know that having sex/being touchy-feely with anyone who isn’t your partner is a big no-no. Unless you and your partner are into that sort of thing. Hey, who am I to judge? But is it ever okay to be emotionally attached to someone other than your partner? No. And what exactly is being emotionally attached?

Well, as far as I’m concerned there are a couple ways to figure out if you or your partner is committing an emotional infidelity (God, I sound like a 53-year-old post-menopausal psychologist!). Let’s make this post a little less psychoanalytic.

Well, if you tell this person things about your partner that they would mind that person knowing – you’re crossing a line. If you have sexual thoughts about this person, well that’s obviously bad. If you have overly-sexual conversations with the other person – you’re opening a can of worms, buster! And if you’d rather spend time chatting it up with this person and forgo your partner’s company AND you start to compare your partner with your “friend” – you might need to take a step and re-evaluate your life and relationship.

Sadly, I’ve known a lot of people who’ve been on either sides of this potential relationship killer, myself included. When the person on the receiving end finds out, male or female, they are always very hurt. Some might think that emotional cheating should hurt less because it never got physical — negative! Think about this for a sec … sex doesn’t have to involve emotions. Some people can have sex and not have any feelings for the person they’re sleeping with. However emotional ties signify that there is a union of mind and heart. The heart that is supposed to be committed to your partner.

Emotional infidelity is just as bad as physical infidelity because it carries with it all the hurt, and more. Just think about how you’d feel if your partner shared all their sexual fantasies, dreams, hopes with someone else and left nothing for you. See? It sucks doesn’t it.

Whatever side of the fence you’re on, receiving or giving, if any of the signs apply to you then it’s time to have a long talk with your partner about where your relationship is going. If it’s going at all.

And do believe emotional cheating can and does lead to physical cheating. So is this kind of madness preventable? Of course.

I was reading an article that suggested cutting out any relationship with the opposite sex that isn’t your partner. I think that’s stupid. What I think, and you may dismiss me since I’m no psychologist, is that couples need to be more transparent with each other, and make sure that they communicate regularly. Also, never do something with someone you wouldn’t want your partner to do. And don’t EVER give your time, feelings or closeness to anyone BUT your partner.

Remember if you’re hiding it, it’s probably wrong.

Job or bust!

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I am, sadly, jobless.

After busting my behind in school for how many years, I was glad to graduate and get out into the world. However, like most things in my life, things haven’t worked out the way I thought they would. I don’t know even know why I bothered to get my hopes up. Oh well …

Unemployment is always fun for the first month or so. There’s an endless amount of things to do — things you couldn’t do before because you were so busy. So you catch up on the movies/TV shows you missed, surf the Internet, drive over to your other unemployed friends to hang out, troll Facebook  and watch Youtube vids. And of course, you look for a job!

But, let me tell you, I’ve watched about as many movies and TV re-runs as I can stand. I’ve basically finished the Internet. I don’t have any money to buy gas, so driving anywhere I please is not gonna happen. And seriously you can only stay on Facebook and watch Youtube videos for so long! Ugh!

I seriously DO NOT know how some people sit at home all day and are fine with doing that their entire lives. It’s so exasperating and stressful! Especially when you fall into the same ol’ routine, all day everyday. Darn, thinking about, it sitting at home doing nothing should be considered a job, it surely feels like one … without the doing something part, but plenty of the stress. Well, maybe that’s just me.

Job hunting ain’t nothing fun either (yes, I’m quite aware I used a double negative that contains a word, which isn’t really a word. Sue me!). I’ve sent in so may job applications it’s ridiculous. And why is it that employers these days have no etiquette? I mean  the least you could do is tell me no I didn’t get the job! I actually had one experience where everything was going fine and I really thought I had it; interview went swimmingly. The interviewer practically told me when I could start training. Well, let’s just say my calls went unanswered, and messages slipped into another dimension. Well that’s what I assumed. Very unprofessional.

I hate looking for a job. Why the hell is it so hard? And this economy makes it even worse! I’m not a whiner but boy do I feel like whining sometimes. I’ve said F’ it a couple times. But let’s be real, I DO need a job or I’m going to go broke and insane.

Job sites suck. They ask you to upload resumes, which I doubt recruiters even look at. Some even ask you to pay. With what? I’m broke! Then there are the sites that have outdated job listings. You see a job you like, click to read the description … wait this job doesn’t even exist anymore. You think they’d take them down or they’d write a script that would make the listing disappear after it becomes irrelevant. Nope.

Now I try to couple that with a bit of personal networking and keeping my ears to the ground.

Sometimes I see a job I’d be perfect for. But then I realize the recruiter doesn’t think so. They want 10 years of experience? But I’m only 20+ years old (*insert long-winded whine here). But, I bet if I had that much experience they’d probably think I was too old to be hired. Man! I knew those kids who started working after high school were on to something! Oh well …

I hope that I’ll find something soon. In the meantime I’ll try not do anything illegal. But with my luck I probably wouldn’t be qualified for the crime.

So we let child molesters go free now?

I know I already did a blog today, but I saw something that so thoroughly disgusted me that I had to come back on and rant a little.

So doing my usual perusal of the The Gleaner Web site, reading the news. Clicked on the Jamaica Star — first story was disheartening, but let’s be real, nothing new. Second news story, third news story … what the hell? What? You have got to be kidding? Let me reread this because obviously I missed something; I must’ve misread.

Now the story that had me questioning my vision, and my sanity, was about a man who propositioned his niece. The girl is a minor. This man, no this poor excuse for a human being, asked the young girl to let him fondle her. She refused, he then went on to offer her money, which she also refused. The minor reported the matter to her father, who then went to the police.

Now this is where I got really ticked off and disgusted.

The police in their wonderful wisdom let the man go because the idiot started crying — “When he came here, he broke down in tears saying he was sorry … he was sternly warned and released,” the lawman said. That’s a quote from the story and you can read it for yourself here.

I know the government only recently turned its attention to writing legislation regarding sex crimes against children, for example, passing the Child Pornography Prevention Act. But if we have police letting go self-confessed molesters, what are they doing about the ones who deny the act?

This slimeball says he did it, sheds a few tears and is released back onto the streets, to do heaven knows what to somebody else’s child. This may not even have been his first time committing an act like this. He’s probably a seasoned pedophile. But the police wouldn’t know that because all they did was give him a stern warning. I bet that had him shaking in his boots. Whatever! I guess they couldn’t bother to waste the energy it would take to launch an investigation. Ridiculous!

If this is the kind of action we are taking to protect our children, we might as well strip them naked and shove them out into the night. I know our lawmen are stressed, but they have go to do better!

No more Reading Rainbow :(

If you know one thing about me and nothing else, you know I love reading. Books have been a part of my life all my life. Largely because of my parents who saw it fit to give me books for every major holiday and birthdays. My dad use to joke to his friends that I read everything in sight, even climbing on top of the fridge to read the cereal box. Because of my love for reading I excelled — and still do — in the literary arts. I’d drag my books everywhere — and still do — even to the bathroom. So just imagine how very sad I was to hear that one of my favorite book-based television programs would no longer be around. *sigh

Reading Rainbow was one of my favorite childhood pastimes. Along with Magic School Bus and Professor Iris, it made my after-school life interesting and fun. Even though I don’t remember ever reading any of the books featured on the series,  Reading Rainbow taught me that it was okay to be a bookworm.

I looked forward to hearing the show’s host, LeVar Burton say, “But you don’t have to take my word for it …” Aaaahh, memories. 26 years of them, well not really since I was born after the program started. But you get my point.

NPR reports that the program is being yanked because of lack of funding and other reasons. You can read the full story here. It’s sad that a program like this is being pulled while networks literally throw money at less worthy projects.

John Grant, head honcho at WNED Buffalo — Reading Rainbow’s mother station, says emphasis is now being placed on programs that actually teach children to read, not just to love reading. And while that is a meritorious exploit, I can’t help but wonder why the powers-that-be didn’t think of amending the program to include the teaching factor. And when I say teaching I use that somewhat loosely, since a TV show cannot teach a child to read. And what’s the point of knowing how to read if you don’t do it at all? That’s the point of Reading Rainbow — instilling in children a love of books and all things literary. But, I guess the higher-ups don’t see that.

In a time when children are more likely to pick up a video game than a book, I hate to see something so precious die. What will my kids watch? Soulja Boy? Dear Lord!

I might be blowing things out of proportion, but looking at children programming now, compared to when I was growing up leads me to think we’ve taken some steps back. And in addition, all the good, educational shows are on stations most people consider boring.

I thank the heavens there are still libraries around, but to tell you the truth I don’t know of many kids who willingly go to a library — except my little sis, she loves reading as much as I do. And as annoying as she is sometimes about going, because I have to drive her, I’m glad she’s interested. *Can’t wait ’til she gets her own car!

I feel like a child in the middle of a bad divorce, stuck with the parent who has the better lawyer and not necessarily the one who loves me. And I only get to see the one I love during weekend visits.

Farewell, Reading Rainbow! I guess I’ll see you on a DVD sometime soon. *tear

For those who wish to reminisce:

New diet?

So right now I’m particularly pissed off at my partner. Apparently he thinks I’m an unhealthy eater. What the hell? This from the guy who wouldn’t eat veggies until recently and wouldn’t consider cutting meat out of his diet for a few months.

While I know I’m not the greatest when it comes to certain foods, hearing him say that made me feel awful. Especially when he claimed I was basically “injecting fat into my body.” So now I’m a fat ass?

Although I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way. He does like living.

Even though I am ticked off, it has got me thinking that maybe I could stand to eat a little healthier. I love veggies, but I have an awful addiction to salt. Yes, salt. I put salt on EVERYTHING! And while I have cut down a bit in the past years, I still have a long way to go. I eat salt right out of the carton. Awful, I know.

It’s horrible for my health, but to me everything tastes better with salt. I even describe myself as the ‘salt of the earth,’ so you know I’m hooked.

Don’t get me wrong, I never oversalt while cooking, although today I did — total accident. Yech! And some things are indeed too salty for my taste, so I’m not a complete nut. It’s just something my taste buds love.

I don’t intend to go cold-turkey. I don’t think I could. So I’ll try to cut down my salt usage.

Next to go is the sugar. I’m not big on sweets, so that’s no biggie. I love ice cream, but truth be told I can live without it. I love frosted flakes though, and am very guilty of heaping on a tablespoon of sugar on top of the sugar the cereal already comes with. Again, awful. The good thing is I don’t do it all the time. So that must count for something, right?

There are other things I plan to do, most for my health, others will be to make my partner suffer for his big mouth (*rubbing my hands together plotting the most vile, but healthy, things for him to eat).

Let’s see how this pans out. Beginning tomorrow, it’s less salt. Who knows, I could kick this habit in four years! Okay, okay three years? One? All right, six months. But that’s all I’m promising.

Snooping: Sometimes you get more than you bargained for

Courtesy of crisptechnews.com.au

Today I was speaking with a friend of a friend who was telling me about this person’s penchant for snooping where she isn’t really supposed to.  Don’t worry I got permission to talk about it.

Well this lady, let’s call her Racquel, has been in a relationship for a while, 3 or 4 years. Just like every other relationship they’ve had rocky times, the worst of which was a cheating episode, but they worked past that, or so she thought. See the problem is Racquel can’t stop looking through her partner’s things. At the moment they seem to be fine, they haven’t argued in a while but she’s still hung up on things from the past and so she snoops.

Well, sometime ago while looking through his stuff she came upon some conversations he had a couple years ago about a past girlfriend and her. Well past girlfriends really. He was apparently seeing some other girls while he was seeing her and she had no clue. He also said some mean things about her now this seemed to be a year or so into their relationship. There were instances of how much he loved the other girl and liked her but wasn’t sure of where they stood.

Point is after reading all of that she feels as if he more or less settled for having a relationship with her and she is all torn up about it. Even though this is YEARS ago from what I understand. Now it’s impacting her relationship and she’s mad at hell at her partner.

I think that’s the gist. Yea, there was definitely a lot more, but I shall not bore you with the details, haha.

Weeelll, see that’s exactly why I don’t go around fassin inna ppl bizness, translation for the non-patois speakers — snooping. Sometimes there are things people should never see at all. That for example. Because it brings up all sorts of insecurities that may not have been there in the first place and makes things worse if you are already unsure.

Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying ignore red flags and be a moron. Never! But if the relationship is okay, why bother? Obviously it’s not and there’s some underlying thing gnawing at you enough to make you go that extra mile.

Sooooo what to do?

Hey, I’m no expert and I get that people lie, but I find that if you have a non-confrontational conversation with people they do talk. So if you feel your partner is doing something he shouldn’t maybe you should just ask. And if he lies to you then you probably shouldn’t be with him anyway. And I’ve heard there are many things to look for, in terms of body language, if you don’t trust the words that are coming out of their mouth. But if you don’t trust them maybe you should be either trying to build it or walking away from the relationship.

In Racquel’s case I’d say she should just seethe about it for 2 more minutes and forget about it. A friend of mine – Nicole – said she would only be angry if they were still in the early years of a relationship. True. This was years ago and obviously he changed his mind. As Nicole said the most important thing she’d like to find out is why he changed his mind. But going that route will wisen him to the fact that you’re going through his things. And then you’re going to have to deal with his anger at you in the present, rather than some long ago issue.

No one wants to live with “Big Brother.” Snooping is just bad news. Especially when you find something that makes you see red.

Now if it’s right in front of you … that’s another story. *snicker

Here Hair!

So this one has been long in coming. I have no idea what took me so long really. I have been thinking about writing about my hair for a bit, but I’m finally getting to it and I guess that’s all that matters.

Well for all those who know me and are close to me, or see me on a daily basis, know that I’m no longer ‘fried, dyed and laid to the side.’ Yes, I have a head of natural, kinky, do-what-it-feels-like hair. In making the decision to go natural I was very apprehensive. I knew it was the right thing to do for the overall health of my hair, but what would people think? Yep, I actually concerned myself with what other people would think of me. I don’t know why I didn’t just stick to my personal adage of “I don’t give a bleepity bleep.” So being the person I am, I decided to ask some friends and associates what they thought of me going natural. Would you believe some of these heifers were brave enough to tell me not to go there. Ha ha, sorry about the name calling. But some of the answers were less than nice. But again, being the person I am, I went ahead and did it anyway. I know you’re probably scratching your head wondering why I asked if I knew what I was going to do anyway. Well … that’s just the kind of person I am, are you even paying attention? Sheesh!

So for a whole year I didn’t chemically straighten my hair. I fought with the flat iron when I wanted to blend the roots with the straight ends, and I got braids when I was tired of fighting the two warring textures. I was happy to see my nappy roots coming in and couldn’t wait until it got long enough to got the blasted relaxed ends off. Now, understand that I knew exactly what I was getting when it came to my natural locks. I wasn’t under any impression that I’d have curls or waves of any kind, no way. After all I got my first relaxer at about 12 so there was no delusion. I know some girls would rather die than roll out with a head of kinks, but I was cool with that. I mean after all, how bad could it be. Yes, I broke a few combs back in the day but I wouldn’t let that stop me. And as far as I was concerned I was already in way too deep and I’m no quitter. At least not one who’d admit it.

So the kinks kept growing and the love for my chemically-straightened ends kept shrinking, until one evening I cut all the little bastards off. Or as much as I could see. That particular evening I was very frustrated with my hair after taking out the braids and spending five hours detangling. I took those scissors and declared Jihad on that bish! It just had to go.

Now I’m au naturel and I have to tell you I kinda like it. Though at this present moment I’m utterly bored as I have no styling skills whatsoever, so it’s usual a twistout or fro.

I can’t say whether I’ve gotten deeper mentally, I feel the same really. Just that now I have to look in the mirror and appreciate what’s there instead of becoming a slave to the mainstream. At times it’s so hard. I do get a little twinge every now and then, that traitorous whisper in my mind that tells me that today I could’ve been cuter with straight hair. But I pay it no mind, I just tell myself I’m the ish and move on. It’s just hair isn’t it? And there’s so much more in my life that I have yet to figure out. Like what the hell am I going to eat for dinner later? Ha ha, just kidding …

Obama: Harbinger of change (maybe); Ender of racism (nope)

Last Thursday Henry Louis Gates Jr., a well-known black scholar was arrested. The story, according to news reports, goes something like this: Gates, a Harvard professor and the director of Harvard’s W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research, was trying to enter his home but couldn’t. Some ‘concerned’ neighbor alerted the Cambridge P.D. of a possible break-in. Police arrive on the scene but Gates by this time is already inside. Police question Gates, they say he was acting belligerent, he says he showed his ID so they really had no basis to further question him.

Now, if his version is true, then, yes, the police were probably acting like a’holes and should’ve left the man alone. After all they are on his property and he has committed no crime, other than vocally state his frustration after thinking he’s being harassed (although his lawyer said health-wise Gates would not have been able to shout) . Then again some people of Gates’ caliber can be pompous morons and might rub other people wrong with the whole ‘Do you know who I am?’ diatribe. In any case I do believe something is fishy with the whole story, and when other people have encountered the same issue with the Cambridge P.D. you can’t help but think that this might be good ol’ racial profiling. If he was a white man would this have happened? What do you think?

I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened. Gates could be wrong, the police could be wrong. They both could have overreacted. If you want to read the story so far NPR’s write-up seems like a good read and so is the Boston Globe.

However, the story is not what’s grinding my gears. It’s the comments I’ve read on different news sites. Comments like this — “Enough of throwing down the race card … we have a Black President now, so that tired old ship has sailed,” make me do one of two things: seethe with anger or laugh at the total B.S. being spewed. I laughed at that one. What utter rubbish!

I didn’t know Obama had, upon his becoming president, waved a magical wand and erased all the ignorance and hatred from people’s hearts and minds. Why the hell didn’t somebody tell me this? And if he can do that, why the heck don’t we make him ruler of the universe? He obviously has mystical powers that the world could benefit from. Enough of my mini rant. The point I’m making is no one man/human, note the ‘human’ part, can totally erase something that is so deeply rooted, unless people are willing to change and understand why they NEED to make that change. So, no, having a black president doesn’t mean that prejudice against black people automatically ends. Nor would having a female president end discrimination against women, or a hispanic president end discrimination against hispanics …. you get the drift.

I’m just tired of people using that as an excuse to sweep reality under the rug. It’s stupid and baseless. Obama is not a magical cure for anything.

Happy Father’s Day (from daddy’s not-so-little girl)

My Daddy! Yay!

Ahhh, Father’s Day. Possibly the only psuedo-holiday that many people don’t really pay attention to. I’m sure if Father’s Day was a girl, or if we’re going to be all technical — a boy — it would be that guy who sits by himself at lunch, has only two identifiable friends and avoids social settings because nobody ever talks to him anyway. Even though he’s a really smart, good-looking underneath it all kind of guy. Yes, fathers are pretty underappreciated. And I’m actually talking about real fathers, not sperm donors. The ones who actually know what their children look like, spend quality time with them and take care of their emotional, physical and financial needs.

But I’m not here to wax on in general terms about fathers. Oh no. I’m here to blabber on about my daddy. The man who made all the boys think twice about approaching me. The man who had to deal with three hormonal teenaged girls, at different times; two under his own roof. The man who at times made me wish I was adopted, haha, but I still love the hell out of that man.

Growing up I was mostly an angel, my sister was the hell spawn (hey, stop looking at me like that, I did say mostly!). Looking back I think my dad did a pretty good job instilling in us values that we’d need later on in life. Like self-worth, independence, an appreciation for all things pork :+), and so on and so forth. It must’ve been hard for him trying to deal with two girls bent on beating the crap out of each other every chance they got, and inbetween the spankings and then talks (when we got too old for spankings), my dad’s favorite saying was “You guys are sisters, you should not fight.” Of course, we’d be back at it in two blinks. Thank God we outgrew that!

He was always at parent-teacher meetings, and during our high school years he was on the sports committee — which made it hard for me to miss P.E., ugh! He was friendly with mostly all my teachers, especially the females, hehe, so if we slipped we knew he’d hear about it. Of course, a girl always has ways to get around these things, but don’t tell daddy that.

My dad was never keen on guys, EVER! That was funny because growing up I had a lot of male friends, whom I preferred to females. They just stayed away from me whenever he was around. The guys in the community, I later found out, thought he was a policeman, and they were probably right in thinking that. That man never smiled for anything, well pork, maybe. He had the best poker face, and I don’t think he even knows how to play poker. I, thanks to daddy dearest, have that same stony, “I’ll rip out your guts and eat it with a side of your heart” look sometimes. Pity they didn’t know my dad’s a sweetheart most of the time. Yes, he does things I cannot stand. At one point in my life I swore I’d never speak to him ever again because he did something I thought was unforgivable, but that’s humans for you, flaws and all, and he’s my daddy. What else can I say?!

Everywhere we went we were referred to as Johnny’s girls. When we visited his workplace we were shuffled off to every person in the building, and of course the usual comment was “Bwoy Johnno, Jhen fava you eeh!.” Apparently I look a lot like my dad, although over the years that physical resemblance has faded, somewhat but not entirely. Maybe that’s why I’m so unlucky now, back home they say if a girl looks like her daddy she’s going to be lucky. Anyway, back to this workplace tour thing. It seemed like my daddy knew everybody in that office. I can’t tell how many times I just wanted to sit in his office and do whatever, fuggedaboutit! Not gonna happen. Nevertheless, the adoration was nice *vanity is a wicked ting eeh.

But thinking on things now, it wasn’t just at his job that I thought daddy knew everybody! Oh no, outside of that, the man seemed to know every living soul in Jamaica! I remember, it didn’t matter where we were, Half-Way-Tree, New Kingston, Spanish Town, Clarendon … he was always hailing somebody, or somebody was always calling to him. I was introduced to so many people my head used to spin from all the names. But I guess in restrospect that was a good sign, it showed that he was liked by a lot of people, and he still is.

There is a running joke among my sisters and me, that we’re more than likely related to everybody living. Everywhere we went when I was younger (and to this day) we were introduced to some other cousin. I can’t remember 90 percent of those names; speaking of which, I still need to call that cousin he introduced me to the other day. See? It’s neverending!

My daddy is also a daddy to many of my friends. I can’t tell you how great it feels to hear my friends calling him daddy. Isn’t that cool? I don’t mind sharing either because not everybody can have a great dad like I do. Although he embarrasses me at times, like when he decided to play “You’re A Big Girl Now” by The Stylistics, when I first got my period; I swear I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. Or when I’d be talking to my friends and he’d invite himself into the conversation. Mi say! But all in all he was pretty neat.

I don’t get to see a lot of my father these days because we live in different countries. And the finances don’t allow me to chat with him whenever I want to. Y’all know these cellphone companies don’t play with those international rates, and the calling card companies are friggin’ thieves! But I think about him all the time, even though he may get on my nerves ( I think because we’re so much alike) and he’s a pain at times. He’s a wonderful dad. If I ever have children I hope their father is half the man my dad is.

He may never read this, but I want to tell him Happy Father’s Day, daddy. Love you. You a di boss! The first man to capture my heart and the one who will always, always have first dibs at it. Have a wonderful day!

P.S. – How could I forget to mention that my daddy taught me how to cook, clean etc. Yes, I learned it all from watching him. Big Up to all di real fadda dem!

If you don’t have anything nice to say … (Tameka – Usher)

I’m pretty sure everybody now knows that R&B singer Usher Raymond IV has started divorce proceedings to end his  two year marriage with Tameka Foster Raymond. I mean you’d have to be blind and deaf not to know, it’s plastered all over the news. As much as it pains me to see another marriage end, that’s not the most upsetting part, it’s the comments from people who don’t even know the couple personally.

Being a bored, unemployed college grad I usually read one to three gossip blogs per day just for the fun of it. I see all sorts of comments, some plain mean but the ones about Tameka are truly disheartening. I guess people think just because they’re anonymous it gives them every right to say whatever they want, but it doesn’t. I find it crazy that some women are so awful to a woman that they don’t even know. The names they call her, from bitch to some other things I wouldn’t think to type here, and I’m no prude, are just disgusting. They say she has no business marrying him because she’s “an old hag” with how many kids and she’s not pretty enough. If physical beauty (society’s standard, of course) and an unoccupied womb were the prerequisites for marriage, many people would never ever get married.

It was just disheartening to read all the things these women were saying about another. Yes, there were men taking potshots, too, but they were few and far between. I can’t imagine how bad this woman would feel if she so happened to come across these comments. If it were me, my self-esteem would drop about 50 points.Yes, she might be the worst person in the world, but so might he. Nobody, definitely not these blog Nazis, knows for sure what’s going on with them but those two. These people weren’t the ones who stood before a higher power and made vows to do right by each other, so why they feel they have a say in what’s going on, even to be so demeaning, is beyond me. And, yes, when you’re a public figure it must be expected, but I just wish people would consider the person and not the celebrity sometimes. Underneath it all there is a person. We must never forget that.

All in all, I hope both come out of this having learned something. Most of all I hope that the children will be okay and loved.